The struggle is real

     I know I am  not the only person out there that struggles with comparison.  Why do we compare ourselves with others?  Why can't we be content with who and what we are?  The struggle is real here.  While I struggle with why I compare myself to others it leads me to do just that, compare myself to those out there who aren't consumed with comparison.  It leads me to compare myself to those that are seen as confident and in control.

     I decided to do some reading today to see if I can find an answer to all of my questions.  I wonder - do you find that as humorous as I do?  I don't know that I will ever find the answer to all of my questions.

     There is always going to be someone out there smarter than me, prettier than me, more athletic to me - just plain more than me.  The struggle to see myself as enough, as the title says, is real.  The big question is - enough for who or enough for what?  I am a well educated individual and do my best to provide well thought out advice for my children and friends (if they ask).  What I need to do is actually listen to myself and take my own advice.  Sounds easy, doesn't it?!

     How many of you out there can say you have sit on a therapists couch or in a chair in their office.  I admit - I have.  My last round of counseling there was something pointed out to me and looking back on this, maybe there is some truth to his observations.  He said I was a perfectionist.  I personally thought that was funny because there is absolutely no way I would consider myself anywhere near perfect.  What I was overlooking is the definition of a perfectionist.

     I looked up the definition on Google.com.  "A person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection."  I think we are onto something.  This also leads me back to a message I heard in church once and that message basically said, if you are constantly looking for the better job, better car, better house - you quickly lose sight of what better really is.  I think these two concepts are quite similar. 

     When my therapist was pointing out this observation to me he drew me a diagram of the steps in my life.  The struggles in my head on weight, appearance, intelligence.  The constant need to find ways to improve myself.  Here is another example of how the struggle is real.  A person should never sell themselves short.  Always be willing to learn more and never stop being the best you that you can be.  This, my friend, does not mean you are not good enough.  It simply means you want to be the best YOU.

     In the grand scheme of life - it is only you that can approve of who you are.  I have told my own kids that they should never try to be like someone else.  They should focus on being the unique individual that was created to be them.

     In my "research" today I was reminded how comparing yourself to others can kill your soul.  There were so many different shortcomings to comparison but one stood out to me as really the biggest shortcoming - there is no end to the possible number of comparisons.  As I said before - there will always be someone prettier, thinner, and smarter but there is nobody out there that can be a better you than YOU.

     So - how do you overcome this detrimental trait of comparison?  When I find that answer I will not only be at peace but I will be damn rich!

     Only YOU can be the best YOU - don't let YOU be them because they are the best them they can be and YOU only need to be the best YOU that you can be.

Books, school, teachers...

Something "hit" me very recently and that was how do we learn?  When we are children we learn from our parents, family, teachers and our surroundings.  We are expected to go to school EVERY SINGLE day from the time we are 5 or 6 until we are 17 or 18 years old.  Then...some of us continue school until we are OLD (I finished my Master's when I was ...not gonna say).  Humans never stop learning or at least they shouldn't.

I'm now out of school - so how do I keep learning?  Of course I read and keep up on my field but how do I truly continue learning?  I listen to children.  It is as easy as that - I listen to children.  This post is short and all I want you to get from it is to stop and listen to your own children and if you are a teacher, listen to your students.  You will learn amazing things!

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Perfectly Imperfect

So I decided to look up a couple of definitions.  I went to www.google.com and typed define perfect. (tip for ya'll, google will define words for you and solve math problems).

Google gave me this:

1. having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.
2. absolute; complete (used for emphasis).

Well.....  I always wanted to be perfect and now I am!  HAHA.  Let's go deeper

                   having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics

What is required?  What is desirable?  Who determines what is required or desirable?  Elements?  What in the world do they mean by that?  Qualities and characteristics I get...but elements?  So - according to this definition, anyone can be perfect.  It is all relative.  It is what you think is required or desirable and if you have everything that fits those criteria then BAM...you're perfect.

Absolute/complete.  Well, I am absolutely imperfect!  So therefore, I am perfect.  See, I told you that I am perfect.

The second definition to me really isn't a determining factor for perfection because we, as humans, cannot be perfect.  At least not for me.  I cannot possibly have all of the these requirements because I am still learning and becoming me.  I make mistakes ( A LOT OF MISTAKES) and I change.

So -- my weekend post is short, sweet and simple (hey, I just described myself!).  I am PERFECTLY IMPERFECT and I am 100% okay with that!!  

See ya'll on the flip side!

A web browser with 1,000 tabs open at once

     The other day I stopped and really thought about what my days and weeks are actually made up of.  What exactly do I do 7 days a week, 24 hours a day?  It was the end of a day and I just couldn't figure out why in the world I was so tired.  I mean really, why would I be tired.  I only work one job, have one house.  I started thinking ...maybe I am sick, maybe I need therapy, maybe..just maybe...  oh wait, I know what I need.......I need a stiff drink, a massage and SILENCE.  I then began feeling sorry for myself until I realized, I am not the only person living this "tired" life.  I am pretty sure most (I say most because there are some out there that are well rested and cared for) moms (and there are some dads that are like this...not many but some) live like I do.

     It might be a little hard to follow me because I have been told I have what I call squirrel syndrome.  No, it is not really a syndrome and yes, I coined the phrase.  I know, I'm a genius - right?  See, it is happening already and I have lost my train of thought.  Give me a minute......okay, it's back.  Well, not yet because I have to stop and go take care of something.  I will be right back.

     Did you miss me?  Probably not because this is a blog - not a video so you really didn't even know I was gone.

     The other day I took a road trip with three lady friends.  (I know they will read this -- so, look...I called you all ladies!!  STOP LAUGHING)...   Are we ladies if we do jell-o shots before going on a hike?  Just a hypothetical question - we may or may not have done that.  Anyway, the car ride (about 2 hours) was hilarious.  As we were driving it hit me.   There were four of us and one of our daughters (lucky her, right?).  I am pretty sure we had four different conversations going on and could be a part of each one of them.  I have had many situations like this over the years.  We're moms, right?  We can multi-task and seem sane.  I used the term seem because well... we all have multiple children and if you have given birth and choose to give birth again, you are nuts (in a good way) because that shit hurts.

     My point of this (besides trying to bring some humor into your day) is simple - I have been described by a friend as the title of this post reads...a web browser with 1,000 tabs open.  Somehow, I am able to get a million things done and at the same time.  So are you wondering what my days/weeks are like or can your minds focus in on this one thing and try to figure it out.  I read a meme the other day - forget walking a mile in my shoes, spend a day in my mind and see if you can keep up!

     See ya'll on the flip side!!!

And so it begins

As a young child I had a dream to become a writer.  I wanted to write books, be a journalist and share stories with the world.  Well, that dream got pushed into the never world until recently.

In August 2014 I began a journey to a new me, a healthier and more spiritual me.  Don't get me wrong, I've attended church my entire life.  I have always known there is a God and all that good stuff.  However, I have been on this journey to find my purpose in life.  I don't think I will ever really find the exact purpose of my life because it is ever changing.

Until I became a mother - my purpose was to be a daughter and a friend.  Roles change and so does the direction of our life.

I want to share my journey with you, my readers.  The journey that is life.  Where have I been, where am I now and where am I going.

I hope that you will find this inspiring, uplifting and helpful!  Who knows - maybe I'll finally have that book written I wanted to accomplish.  It's a journey - right?!  You never know which turn you're going to take in life!